La Parka vs. Muerte Cibernetica
July 18, 2006
Mask vs. Mask
A quintessential AAA main event match with all of the positives and negatives which that encompasses.
On the positive side, while La Parka is no LA Park he is as always insanely over in this match and has a knack for making exciting comebacks. Ricky Banderas is a good worker and when he gets a chance to actual offense – be it brawling or something else – in this match the result is usually rather good.
Another positive – although really a double-edged sword – is that this TripleMania mask match is never boring. The only logical explanation to AAA’s insatiable desire to book the crap out of matches is that they are scared to death of having a boring big show main event. They would rather see to it that a match is not boring even if that means ensuring that those same matches are never actually any good. When you constantly have eight people fighting around the ring and eight more fighting back stage, it is impossible to have a boring match. It also made the entire match a bit of an unfocused mess. For a good chunk of it, the cameras are focused on people other than the two principals.
I know that I am going to forget something (there was that much going on) but here is all that happened in match none of which had anything (or had little to do) wiuth either of the wrestlers whose masks were at stake:
- Super Porky – serving as La Parka’s second – gets his own entrance (Porky using the Looney Tunes theme as his entrance music might be a little too on-the-nose), is the subject of many close ups throughout the match, and eventually bleeds for some reason.
- Cibernetico – serving as Muerte Cibernetica’s second – is on crunches so he takes a seat on a folding chair at ringside. He occasionally beats on La Parka with his crutch.
- The Mexican Powers are just casually hanging out at ringside from the start. I definitely saw Juvi, Psicosis, Crazy Boy and Joe Lider but there might have been more.
- Tirantes is the referee and walks to the ring trailing Porky for whatever reason.
- Ring introductions occur after Cibernetica already jumped Parka. That’s not entirely unusual but it is distracting.
- After the rudo introductions, Cibernetico cuts a two-minute promo while at ringside. Presumably the two match participants are doing something while this is going on but the director never shows the ring so we can only imagine what that “something” might be.
- When Cibernetico finally finishes his spiel, we get another minute of ring introductions for the tecnicos. During this time, Cibernetica sort of leans on La Parka (who is on the mat) and patiently waits for an opportunity to actually begin the match.
- La Secta runs to the ring mid-match. This draws in the Mexican Powers and a big brawl ensues in the ring. I lost track of where Parka and Cibernetica were during this part.
- The brawl spills to the back quickly (good!) and the cameras actually follow it there (bad!). This kicks of a portion of the presentation where the view switches from ring to backstage every ten seconds or so for several minutes.
- At some point, Absimo Negro and Octagon show up backstage. They proceed to circle each other while in fighting stances, like they are in an amateur production of West Side Story. During one of the brief cuts back to the ring, Octagon procures a long stick of some sort that he holds while the standoff continues.
- The Mexican Powers and others get back in the ring. At least this time we get some dives from the match-interrupting brawl. They all mosey on over to the stage so Crazy Boy can do an Asai Moonsault off of the lightning rig into the crowd of people.
- Tirantes – who has been a non-factor to this point – decides to get physically involved by pushing and grabbing La Parka.
- Tirantes is bumped. Cibernetica fouls Parka and covers. Porky jumps into the ring, counts the three, and then sneaks back out without Cibernetica ever seeing him. Cibernetica only knows he heard a three count and assumes that he won. While he is celebrating, Parka recovers (and so does Tirantes) and that costs Cibernetica the match. That part was actually sort of clever.
As said, there was a lot going on. What is particularly amusing (or infuriating depending on your point of view) is that the match directly before it was Zorro versus Charly Manson in a “hair vs. hair” cage match that was perfectly booked. It had a lot of the same booking stuff that this one had but it was much more streamlined and logical. AAA can do these things right, but were off the mark with this one. There was simply too many non-value added activities going on in and around the match. The match was an example of trying to make a good match out nothing but gimmicks rather than supplementing a match with booking and gimmicks. The really frustrating part is that the brief moments where the participants were left to their own accord showed promised but by the end those moments had been buried under a whole bunch of other crap. Unfortunately, AAA has that happen far more often than it should.